My husbands job is requiring him to go out of state to work for a month or two.Some of his friends asked him if they can go with him cause they all are going to the same place. My husbands job is giving him a extra check for gas money and food since he is taking his truck. Is it fair to charge gas money on the friends going with him too...They can take their own car but they have no license..Husband leaving for work and taking 3 friends is it fair to charge them gas money?
The word most are missing here is friends. You don't charge your friends gas money, especially since your husbands company is paying him gas money. Now if they are truly friends and appreciate the ride they will offer.Husband leaving for work and taking 3 friends is it fair to charge them gas money?
Yes, it is fair to charge gas money. His friends don't need to know the details of his arrangements with his employer and your husband is still doing the driving since his friends are not legally allowed to drive because they have no license.
Also, I think it's at your husbands discretion to give them a ride or not. Unless the truck is his, as in genuine ownership- not a truck that is assigned to him by the company (in which case, he wouldn't be authorized to have any passengers unless cleared by the company) it's very much his call. I would think the friends may realize that for him driving them such large distances, that a thank you amount is ok because drivers need coffee and a sandwich here and there. Your husband will still be driving them around and drop them off at their destination and he'll be doing it on company time.
Again, your husband knows better what he wishes to do.
yes it is more than fair to charge for gas money. I wonder why the company is not providing transportation for the friends that do not have a drivers license ? I would guess the company has made arrangements for all, also in the form of a check. Your husband does deserve to charge for passengers. I know that I would. And remember the friends will also need transportation while @ their new job location.
Yes it is because if they were each taking their own vehicles they would have to pay for gas. Today it's to expensive to let people ride for free, whether it be friends or family.
Even if it's 10 bucks each it will help with the gas cost. And they can't understand it then their not good friends.
I wouldn't ';charge'; them, since they are friends. If they offer to pay, or buy him food along the way, or whatever, then that's great.
There is nothing wrong in it, getting benefited out of the situation.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
What are some tips for handling my husband post deployment?
My fiance has spent the past 8 months in Afghanistan and I am worried about how things are going to go when he gets home. This was his first deployment and I can already tell a difference in him over the phone. What are some signs I should be looking for in his behavior and what are some tips for me on how to deal with him being home? What is he going to be feeling when he gets home? Any advise or stories will be appreciated thanks. What are some tips for handling my husband post deployment?
Talk to the base chaplain.... they should be able to help you out.
talk with other wives whose husbands have come back.... ask them, what worked, what didn't, and what to avoid.What are some tips for handling my husband post deployment?
Ive somewhat been through this situation before when my bf left to Iraq and came back 9 months later (he was in the Navy serving with the Marines).
Some things you should look for are 1) withdrawal 2) attitude change.
When my bf came back, I was totally unprepared for how our we would act towards each other. First, when he comes back its almost like you have to get reacquainted all over again. You have to understand that he probably saw a lot of things while he was gone and that being away from normal life for so long has an affect. It takes time for him to adjust again. In can be excruciatingly awkward at first and for the first few days or weeks. Give him some space. Dont immediately talk about serious things that can wait for later. He just wants to adjust and get used to being back home.
When my bf came back, I spent a week with him in San Diego and it was one of the most miserable times Ive spent with him. His attitude came as a total surprise...since we talked on the phone the whole time he was gone and he always seemed happy to talk to me. Its different once they are back home. He was withdrawn, didnt speak alot to me, and at times was aggressive (verbally and to a certain extent physically). I would say that I was unprepared for the way he was...actual wives get a better understanding of all this because the military provides them a class where they can learn what to expect after a deployment.
Just be understanding, give him space, and hopefully this will show him you are there for him.
I think you should mind these thoughts, but most importantly I would support him and love him. I am sure that he is thinking the same. He has been out fighting for freedom and oil and greed. These things he knows. It may make him feel bitter. He may feel under appreciated. He will want to know that you are proud of him. That you still love him and support him. Give it your best and try your best. Be sensitive and patient.
dont question him about what he seen .. wait on him to open up. !
and notice that they will be diff. they learn respect and stuff there. there is no telling what hes been through. my husband comes home in feb from third deployment everytime he comes home something changes. its part of the military life!
There should be resources available through Navy Relief.
(Yes, Marines are Dept. of the Navy whether they like it or not)
Talk to the base chaplain.... they should be able to help you out.
talk with other wives whose husbands have come back.... ask them, what worked, what didn't, and what to avoid.What are some tips for handling my husband post deployment?
Ive somewhat been through this situation before when my bf left to Iraq and came back 9 months later (he was in the Navy serving with the Marines).
Some things you should look for are 1) withdrawal 2) attitude change.
When my bf came back, I was totally unprepared for how our we would act towards each other. First, when he comes back its almost like you have to get reacquainted all over again. You have to understand that he probably saw a lot of things while he was gone and that being away from normal life for so long has an affect. It takes time for him to adjust again. In can be excruciatingly awkward at first and for the first few days or weeks. Give him some space. Dont immediately talk about serious things that can wait for later. He just wants to adjust and get used to being back home.
When my bf came back, I spent a week with him in San Diego and it was one of the most miserable times Ive spent with him. His attitude came as a total surprise...since we talked on the phone the whole time he was gone and he always seemed happy to talk to me. Its different once they are back home. He was withdrawn, didnt speak alot to me, and at times was aggressive (verbally and to a certain extent physically). I would say that I was unprepared for the way he was...actual wives get a better understanding of all this because the military provides them a class where they can learn what to expect after a deployment.
Just be understanding, give him space, and hopefully this will show him you are there for him.
I think you should mind these thoughts, but most importantly I would support him and love him. I am sure that he is thinking the same. He has been out fighting for freedom and oil and greed. These things he knows. It may make him feel bitter. He may feel under appreciated. He will want to know that you are proud of him. That you still love him and support him. Give it your best and try your best. Be sensitive and patient.
dont question him about what he seen .. wait on him to open up. !
and notice that they will be diff. they learn respect and stuff there. there is no telling what hes been through. my husband comes home in feb from third deployment everytime he comes home something changes. its part of the military life!
There should be resources available through Navy Relief.
(Yes, Marines are Dept. of the Navy whether they like it or not)
Can creditors seize the computer which my husband paid for using his supplemtary card?
I am the main card holder.
Thanks.Can creditors seize the computer which my husband paid for using his supplemtary card?
They may be entitled to take the computer, but they are NOT entitled to the intellectual property on it. Personal security matters are in some ways private, and you could have the cure for cancer on their for all they know, and that would be worth several billion. There are a lot of little caveats.
If they say they are taking the computer. You can say, that is fine, but not until after you erase all data from it. Consult with your lawyer for the fine details.Can creditors seize the computer which my husband paid for using his supplemtary card?
I suggest you consult a B/R attorney for advise..On Y/A you will get an opinion and you need the interpretation of the law not an opinion .. Good luck
Please google bankruptcy laws in your state. You will get the correct information and hopefully put your mind at ease. Good luck!
of course
Thanks.Can creditors seize the computer which my husband paid for using his supplemtary card?
They may be entitled to take the computer, but they are NOT entitled to the intellectual property on it. Personal security matters are in some ways private, and you could have the cure for cancer on their for all they know, and that would be worth several billion. There are a lot of little caveats.
If they say they are taking the computer. You can say, that is fine, but not until after you erase all data from it. Consult with your lawyer for the fine details.Can creditors seize the computer which my husband paid for using his supplemtary card?
I suggest you consult a B/R attorney for advise..On Y/A you will get an opinion and you need the interpretation of the law not an opinion .. Good luck
Please google bankruptcy laws in your state. You will get the correct information and hopefully put your mind at ease. Good luck!
of course
Where to get help for finding my husband a music teaching position?
Hi all, We currently live in Germany but I can't handle the climate here. Thus I am on my way back to the US. My problem is my husband is a preparatory music teacher, he teaches piano and classical guitar. We are initially going to relocate to the Flagstaff Arizona area. Can someone/anyone anybody, please, please, please give me suggestions or tips for an headhunter/employment agency that could look for him a job. I just spent about 5 hours trying to post his resume on yahoo jobs but the thing would not let me correct anything. Please help I am desperate. Thanks so much.Where to get help for finding my husband a music teaching position?
Try his University placement office.
Select multiple school districts and apply.
If nothing else, sign up with some local music stores to teach - they are always handling out cards and giving lessons there in the stores.Where to get help for finding my husband a music teaching position?
This is not easy.
Your husband has a very limited and specific job field.
It is VERY common for people to have 2-3 completely different careers now. You might have to diversify in the job field by a lot. Meanwhile, stay in the local music scene. He might be able to find a paying job in that field later on but you can't expect to find a music position when schools are cutting that out of the ciriculum now.
Best of luck! :0)
There are some website out there that advertise for teachers. Another option is to figure out what area you would like to live, research about the school districts in that area and then start watching their job openings. Good Luck!becca eye makeup remover
Try his University placement office.
Select multiple school districts and apply.
If nothing else, sign up with some local music stores to teach - they are always handling out cards and giving lessons there in the stores.Where to get help for finding my husband a music teaching position?
This is not easy.
Your husband has a very limited and specific job field.
It is VERY common for people to have 2-3 completely different careers now. You might have to diversify in the job field by a lot. Meanwhile, stay in the local music scene. He might be able to find a paying job in that field later on but you can't expect to find a music position when schools are cutting that out of the ciriculum now.
Best of luck! :0)
There are some website out there that advertise for teachers. Another option is to figure out what area you would like to live, research about the school districts in that area and then start watching their job openings. Good Luck!
Husband has Sperm DNA fragmentation what is the best treatment?
My husband and I have been TTC for 12 months on and off. We have been seeing a fertility naturopath for past 4-5months. SHe did all the tests on us and we discovered my husband has DNA fragmentation. She says that her herbal/natural remedies will work with time. When should we consider my husband going to see a male reproductive doctor?Husband has Sperm DNA fragmentation what is the best treatment?
try this website
its the best i could come up with
http://www.scsadiagnostics.com/
try this website
its the best i could come up with
http://www.scsadiagnostics.com/
How do I file taxes for my husband if he did not work last year and did not have any reportable income?
He was able to take a year off, and work on the house. So I am not sure if I need to claim him somehow or if he needs to file anything at all.How do I file taxes for my husband if he did not work last year and did not have any reportable income?
He is a spouse with no income, nothing unusual. File a joint return with him, to take advantage of the increased standard deduction, plus his exemption.How do I file taxes for my husband if he did not work last year and did not have any reportable income?
He may be considered a dependant for that year. Be sure to ask your tax preparer. Under certain circumstances if you make more money than the other adult in the home they can be claimed as a dependant.
File as normal and take advantage of the tax breaks.
He is a spouse with no income, nothing unusual. File a joint return with him, to take advantage of the increased standard deduction, plus his exemption.How do I file taxes for my husband if he did not work last year and did not have any reportable income?
He may be considered a dependant for that year. Be sure to ask your tax preparer. Under certain circumstances if you make more money than the other adult in the home they can be claimed as a dependant.
File as normal and take advantage of the tax breaks.
What is some good ways for my husband to bond with our new baby?
I'm only 23 weeks along, but my hubby has started worrying that he won't be able to bond with our son when he arives. He is worried that all he will do is cry for me when he holds him. How do I aliviate his fears and How does he bond with our new baby?What is some good ways for my husband to bond with our new baby?
Bond by doing. If he takes an active role in parenting he wont have anything to worry about unless you are gestapo woman and dont allow him to do anything because he might do it differently than you. The easiest way to alleviate his fear? Give him a baby chore list....works everytime.What is some good ways for my husband to bond with our new baby?
have your husband be an active participant along with you as soon as the baby is born. he can do absolutely everything that you can do except breastfeed. the baby will get to know him just as easily and as likely as he gets to know you so there is no reason for him to think that the baby will immediately start wanting you. in the beginning, when you are still recovering from childbirth it is a really good time for your husband to take the lead and let you sleep and take it easy as much as possible. let him initiate diaper chnages, and do diaper changes, let him burp the baby, let him feed the baby as much as you do if it is bottle fed. try not to take over or take the lead and just let him do it and he will know how and what to do right from the start just as well as you do. have him read some books on baby care and that way he can have a better idea of what to expect. don't let him sit on the side lines and let you do all the work and get all the bonding time in. it does get easier for him to not participate as much if he hasn't does it all along. make sure he is taking care of the baby right from the start!!! living with the baby and taking care of the baby is how bonding occurs. be sure to not have him wait until the baby is older, as an excuse. it doesn't work that way!!!
A child will naturally bond with any caregiver that give them attention. Even the basics, cuddling, kisses, feeding, changing, etc.
Society acts as if children need more than we have to offer, when all they really need and crave are the basics of life. All be it consuming, it is still just basic needs....food, clothing, love, etc. Anyone can give that if they choose to do so.
Not to mention children will go through stages where the may prefer the comfort of one parent over the other, but as sure as the tides shift, that child will change their mind quickly...thats not unusual.
Try to make the first interactions between father and child positive. The baby should be fed, clean, content, and so when the father holds him, he will feel good. At about 6 weeks when your son starts smiling, he will have your hubby wrapped around his little finger. I am 99.9% sure of this!
the best way to bond with a newborn is to simply do little things like give the baby a bath. sing to in while you're changing it's diaper. and if the baby is crying, it's not because of him, it's because he needs something.
tell him not to worry at all. =]
All of his fears will go away when the baby gets here. He has to hold the baby right away. A lot of men, including my husband, are awkward with newborns. He had a lot more fun with our babies once the interacted with him. He should just hold the baby and talk to him as much as he can. Sometimes daddy will be able to comfort baby better them mommy because he may cradle him differently and he just wanted a change of scenary.
Babies have a special bond with fathers too. Sometimes my husband is the only one who can calm my baby down. As long as he spends time with his baby, they wil have a bond.
i know it sounds goofy but have him talk to your belly.....the baby will recognize his voice....if you're going to nurse the baby then have your husband give him baths and play with him.....if you're going straight to bottle feeding have your husband also do some of the feedings......all it comes down to is spending time with the baby....good luck
well if your going to breastfeed it might be a little harder, but you could pump some milk and have your husband feed him. have your husband hold and cuddle and do some diaper changing. my husband did these things (except for feeding from a bottle as i exclusively breastfed) and they both have bonded fine, my husband would also bath our son.
He will bond with the baby. I was just talking to my husband about the same issue. Our daughter is 4 years old and our son is 4 weeks old. I am amazed that my husband has a similar bond with our children with out having the 9 months to feel their every movement. My son cries more when have him than when my husband has him. My husband can get him to sleep so easily in his arms...I have to put him down for him to fall asleep.
One thing we do is my husband does all the baths for our son...that is his time with our son. He gets final say on all clothes we got for our son, and I pump breast milk for my husband to feed my son (through a syringe at first...as the nurses when you baby arrives)...he will bond with your son just fine.
You should start the process now, involve him in everything, if the baby kicks put his hand on your tummy so he can feel it.. after the baby is born make sure he is present for the dlelivery somedads dont want to be there.. but if they watch their child be born the bond is very strong..
My husband had never even held a baby before I gave birth to our now 2 month old daughter. He was terrified, but he slid right into his role as daddy. He would get scared when she would cry and call for me to come and get her but that stage only lasted a couple of weeks. He is working his way up to number one dad now. I have even returned to work and he looks after her when I'm away if I don't take her with me.
I don't think either of you should have a thing to worry about. The second you see your son for the first time things really do just fall into place. So stop worrying and enjoy this awesome experience!!!!!!
Let the father help like changing diapers,if bottle feed let him feed the baby,let him hold him whenever and as often as the father wants,let the father put him to bed at night,let the father give the baby the bath,when the father is holding the baby and the baby starts to cry don't rush over to calm the baby let the father do it,let the father spend time alone with the baby.
He should hold the baby while both of them are topless as much as possible, particularly the first 6 weeks. He should help burp and amuse the baby. And should make eye contact with the baby from 10-12 inches away the same as happens during breastfeeding.
There is no reason to bottle feed for Dad do bond, much of breastfeeding bonding is from the skin to skin contact, and the optimal distance to mom's face. Neither of which is necessarily accomplished via bottle feeds.
Also have him talk to your belly now to get baby used to his voice ;-) I don't know how much it will work, but it might make him feel better.
If he is involved the baby will not cry for mommy, well not all the time.
Take care of yourself and him. It's a big change
let him be an equal partner from the start throw him right in don't correct him when he does it different then you as soon as the baby is born include him have him changing diapers,outfits and when you get home as soon as you can leave the two boys alone for the day-they can get to know each o0ther in a different way i work sat.'s only and ev ery sat. is daddy and son day(our son's 6 mo.)it's easier for a man to learn without mommy around hovering making sure he's doing right -every sat. i leave for work and come home they seem closer they have their own thing going and daddy is soo proud -tell your husband not to worry my husband was the same way but when you see your baby son you bond right away and alot of people say its easier for a guy to have a son because he doesn't feel so weird about changes and girl stuff..congrats!
Truthfully, he probably will cry for you alot... not in the very begining (because he won't know the difference!) what once he starts being aware, he will want mama!
It passes though, and soon enough he won't want anything to do with you when daddy gets home from work.
But, to answer your question, daddy can give baths. This was great for my husband for about 3 weeks, and then he got bored and i ended up giving baths again.
Co-sleeping has also been great bonding for my son and husband. They get to cuddle for 8 hours, it's really a great bonding experience for the whole family :)
Other than that... sometimes you just have to hand the baby over and go take a nice long bath. You will be terrified at first, as will your husband. But, he will get over it and figure out his own ways of comforting and calming your child.
Also, daddy is ussually the first to really ';play'; with baby. My husband had a goal to get our son to laugh and was constantly doing all sorts of silly things. He ended up laughing for the first time in the car-at nothing.. oh well!
Bond by doing. If he takes an active role in parenting he wont have anything to worry about unless you are gestapo woman and dont allow him to do anything because he might do it differently than you. The easiest way to alleviate his fear? Give him a baby chore list....works everytime.What is some good ways for my husband to bond with our new baby?
have your husband be an active participant along with you as soon as the baby is born. he can do absolutely everything that you can do except breastfeed. the baby will get to know him just as easily and as likely as he gets to know you so there is no reason for him to think that the baby will immediately start wanting you. in the beginning, when you are still recovering from childbirth it is a really good time for your husband to take the lead and let you sleep and take it easy as much as possible. let him initiate diaper chnages, and do diaper changes, let him burp the baby, let him feed the baby as much as you do if it is bottle fed. try not to take over or take the lead and just let him do it and he will know how and what to do right from the start just as well as you do. have him read some books on baby care and that way he can have a better idea of what to expect. don't let him sit on the side lines and let you do all the work and get all the bonding time in. it does get easier for him to not participate as much if he hasn't does it all along. make sure he is taking care of the baby right from the start!!! living with the baby and taking care of the baby is how bonding occurs. be sure to not have him wait until the baby is older, as an excuse. it doesn't work that way!!!
A child will naturally bond with any caregiver that give them attention. Even the basics, cuddling, kisses, feeding, changing, etc.
Society acts as if children need more than we have to offer, when all they really need and crave are the basics of life. All be it consuming, it is still just basic needs....food, clothing, love, etc. Anyone can give that if they choose to do so.
Not to mention children will go through stages where the may prefer the comfort of one parent over the other, but as sure as the tides shift, that child will change their mind quickly...thats not unusual.
Try to make the first interactions between father and child positive. The baby should be fed, clean, content, and so when the father holds him, he will feel good. At about 6 weeks when your son starts smiling, he will have your hubby wrapped around his little finger. I am 99.9% sure of this!
the best way to bond with a newborn is to simply do little things like give the baby a bath. sing to in while you're changing it's diaper. and if the baby is crying, it's not because of him, it's because he needs something.
tell him not to worry at all. =]
All of his fears will go away when the baby gets here. He has to hold the baby right away. A lot of men, including my husband, are awkward with newborns. He had a lot more fun with our babies once the interacted with him. He should just hold the baby and talk to him as much as he can. Sometimes daddy will be able to comfort baby better them mommy because he may cradle him differently and he just wanted a change of scenary.
Babies have a special bond with fathers too. Sometimes my husband is the only one who can calm my baby down. As long as he spends time with his baby, they wil have a bond.
i know it sounds goofy but have him talk to your belly.....the baby will recognize his voice....if you're going to nurse the baby then have your husband give him baths and play with him.....if you're going straight to bottle feeding have your husband also do some of the feedings......all it comes down to is spending time with the baby....good luck
well if your going to breastfeed it might be a little harder, but you could pump some milk and have your husband feed him. have your husband hold and cuddle and do some diaper changing. my husband did these things (except for feeding from a bottle as i exclusively breastfed) and they both have bonded fine, my husband would also bath our son.
He will bond with the baby. I was just talking to my husband about the same issue. Our daughter is 4 years old and our son is 4 weeks old. I am amazed that my husband has a similar bond with our children with out having the 9 months to feel their every movement. My son cries more when have him than when my husband has him. My husband can get him to sleep so easily in his arms...I have to put him down for him to fall asleep.
One thing we do is my husband does all the baths for our son...that is his time with our son. He gets final say on all clothes we got for our son, and I pump breast milk for my husband to feed my son (through a syringe at first...as the nurses when you baby arrives)...he will bond with your son just fine.
You should start the process now, involve him in everything, if the baby kicks put his hand on your tummy so he can feel it.. after the baby is born make sure he is present for the dlelivery somedads dont want to be there.. but if they watch their child be born the bond is very strong..
My husband had never even held a baby before I gave birth to our now 2 month old daughter. He was terrified, but he slid right into his role as daddy. He would get scared when she would cry and call for me to come and get her but that stage only lasted a couple of weeks. He is working his way up to number one dad now. I have even returned to work and he looks after her when I'm away if I don't take her with me.
I don't think either of you should have a thing to worry about. The second you see your son for the first time things really do just fall into place. So stop worrying and enjoy this awesome experience!!!!!!
Let the father help like changing diapers,if bottle feed let him feed the baby,let him hold him whenever and as often as the father wants,let the father put him to bed at night,let the father give the baby the bath,when the father is holding the baby and the baby starts to cry don't rush over to calm the baby let the father do it,let the father spend time alone with the baby.
He should hold the baby while both of them are topless as much as possible, particularly the first 6 weeks. He should help burp and amuse the baby. And should make eye contact with the baby from 10-12 inches away the same as happens during breastfeeding.
There is no reason to bottle feed for Dad do bond, much of breastfeeding bonding is from the skin to skin contact, and the optimal distance to mom's face. Neither of which is necessarily accomplished via bottle feeds.
Also have him talk to your belly now to get baby used to his voice ;-) I don't know how much it will work, but it might make him feel better.
If he is involved the baby will not cry for mommy, well not all the time.
Take care of yourself and him. It's a big change
let him be an equal partner from the start throw him right in don't correct him when he does it different then you as soon as the baby is born include him have him changing diapers,outfits and when you get home as soon as you can leave the two boys alone for the day-they can get to know each o0ther in a different way i work sat.'s only and ev ery sat. is daddy and son day(our son's 6 mo.)it's easier for a man to learn without mommy around hovering making sure he's doing right -every sat. i leave for work and come home they seem closer they have their own thing going and daddy is soo proud -tell your husband not to worry my husband was the same way but when you see your baby son you bond right away and alot of people say its easier for a guy to have a son because he doesn't feel so weird about changes and girl stuff..congrats!
Truthfully, he probably will cry for you alot... not in the very begining (because he won't know the difference!) what once he starts being aware, he will want mama!
It passes though, and soon enough he won't want anything to do with you when daddy gets home from work.
But, to answer your question, daddy can give baths. This was great for my husband for about 3 weeks, and then he got bored and i ended up giving baths again.
Co-sleeping has also been great bonding for my son and husband. They get to cuddle for 8 hours, it's really a great bonding experience for the whole family :)
Other than that... sometimes you just have to hand the baby over and go take a nice long bath. You will be terrified at first, as will your husband. But, he will get over it and figure out his own ways of comforting and calming your child.
Also, daddy is ussually the first to really ';play'; with baby. My husband had a goal to get our son to laugh and was constantly doing all sorts of silly things. He ended up laughing for the first time in the car-at nothing.. oh well!
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