How can I make my husband understand that I hate him finding excuses to drink a lot every single day?

That and he chooses to go out with his friends more than he does with me or just stays home all the time. He finds excuses not to go anywhere fun with me and there no excuses when it comes to his friends. WTH?How can I make my husband understand that I hate him finding excuses to drink a lot every single day?
Your husband is trying to escape, not just his marriage, but his life. You have to realize something: hurting people hurt people. Whatever he's doing to you, he's doing worse to himself. I'm not saying that to make excuses for him or to get you to feel sympathy for him. I'm telling you this so you know what you're dealing with.





You cannot change another person. The only person you can control or change is yourself so I'm asking you, ';Is this the kind of marriage you want? Is this what you deserve or do you deserve better? Aren't you tired of feeling like you have to chase your husband down, beg him for attention? Fight for his time?'; I'm telling you this because I've been through it, not with drinking, but the begging for someone's time and, eventually, I got tired of doing that. Eventually, I realized that I deserved better and now I have it. I never have to beg for his time. He's amazing and wonderful and it's been that way from day one.





You need to ask yourself, ';Am I willing to stay with this person if he never changes (because, again, you are not responsible for making him change)?'; If your answer is yes, then you're going to have to find a way to be at peace with who he is and the way he acts right now. If the answer is no, you need to make a choice about the future of this marrage.





No matter what, remember two things:


1) We teach people how to treat us


2) When someone shows you who they are, believe them!





Be well...How can I make my husband understand that I hate him finding excuses to drink a lot every single day?
the excuses are not the problem. those are just his way of trying not to hurt your feelings. the reason he does those things is because he enjoys them. it seems he may not enjoy doing things with your or going places with you. you have serious relationship problems and you need to communicate with him:





it seems like you're really enjoying time with your friends (then listen)


you are having a lot of fun when you go out with your friends (listen)


learn from listening. don't accuse. just listen to what he says about how much and what he's getting from being with his friends


';you seem eager to party with your friends';


[more listening]





after you have listened and fully understand his enjoyment of his activities then you can tell him:





';when you go with bob to the pub, i feel hurt, because i'd like some fun and connection also';





tell him how you feel and what you need from the relationship.





';when you went to the club with artie last night, i felt disappointed because i was wanting some closeness and intimacy';





don't blame him, take responsiblity for your own feelings and needs.
He's having an affair, with alcohol. It might be a different perspective, but if you think about it, it kinda makes sense. It also gives him an 'excuse' that he can later use to justify having an affair with a woman. It also gives him freedom from his conscience.





He will make every excuse in the book to justify his drinking (affair) and then some. People who make excuses are pretending (faking) or as some would say, being factitious.





If he continues to follow this path, he will lose you. Take a look at http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.h鈥?/a> for their view on it.
,,,if ,,and i meen ,,if ,, you used to be with him when he was around his friends before you got married ,,,than you changed ,,not him,,you have become critical and invasive of his actions and thoughts,,you have second guessed him and demeaned him ,,if ,,you were around him and his friends before you got married,,,who changed ,,drinking numbs the noise and distorts the images,,my wife enjoyed showing me the newest nude bar she found in the Philippines when i got back from a mission and suggests we stop for coffee at topless coffee shops ,,,because she is safe in her self and she knows i like ****,,, he drinks because your a paine
He will understand when he comes home and finds all of his belongings out in the front yard. He is the only one that can change that, and if you keep talking to him about it, it will only see you as a nag. Good luck. Living with a drunk is no fun. My parents drank like fish when I was growing up, and now I hate it. It actually makes me sick to my stomach to have to watch drunk people.
Hmm...time for a new man! Nobody is worth living your life unhappy. Sounds like he may be cheating and scared to take you out in public because of fear of being found out. You deserve to be with someone who takes you out and is proud to be with you! Unless you are a jealous person and ruin it everytime he took you somewhere but thats unlikely unless you like sixteen. Go be with someone who deserves you! Tell him if he doesn't start including you then your leaving!
because he think your boring and dont drinking. so he choice with his dummy friends. well when he come home and you should put some drugs in drinking after he would realized too much for him lmao. If you don't happy with him - go to club and start affair.
You need to tell him it has to stop because you feel there is a real problem. Tell him you will stand by him if he realizes he has a problem and needs help.
Sounds like he finds you to be the ol ball and chain that weighs him down. When he goes out with you he can not check out other girls now can he???
Haven't you ever heard of unconditional love?
By leaving him
maybe hes cheating. O_o