How can I encourage my husband of 15yrs to choose between me and his mistress of 2yrs?

What would light a fire under him?





I don't want to divorce him because he cheated so he should be the one to file. And I still have some hope that he will fix our broken family because our kids would want us to be together.How can I encourage my husband of 15yrs to choose between me and his mistress of 2yrs?
Kiss him goodbye and tell the mistress GOOD LUCK because she will be the next to be cheated on. I don't know what this man has done to you or whoever made you believe that its okay for a man to treat you this way, but it's NOT. And your kids...how old? What will they think if you take him back after he's been cheating on you? No, please...stop the cycle of dysfunction and leave the bastard to his whore, find a good therapist to help you gain back your sense of self, and for the love of god....DONT stay with that guy and do NOT let him treat you badly in front of your kids.How can I encourage my husband of 15yrs to choose between me and his mistress of 2yrs?
MAae it easy...kick him out and let him have the mistress. Why would you even want him back after hurting you like that? There would be serious repair needed in the marriage and lots of time and counseling and he would need to be willing to to the work.


Sounds like he is not willing if you have to beg him to come back.


If my husband cheated on me it would totally be over. I would never be able to trust him again or look at him the same way because it would be the ultimate violation.
I am a person who would try to advise anyone to keep their marriage together. Sometimes though you need to take drastic action to get change. Your husband is cheating on you, you want to save the marriage. How do you do this? It all depends on how remorseful he is. If he is willing to do all it takes to make restitution to you. Once someone finds consolation by cheating it is a hard habit to break. You as a spouse have a responsiblitly to yourself, your husband and your children to make sure he is not tempted again. How do you do this? You do this with tough love. You make HIM face the consequences of his actions or he will never learn. Otherwise you will only be behaving as a mother who opens her arms to her long lost son and this is not healthy. You need to show your husband by action that cheating is something you will not tolerate and your actions need to back up what you say. You are a woman who is trying desperately to save her marriage, he is a man who has been given a free ticket to cheat. All he needs to do is to say he is sorry. More needs to be done to restore the marriage. Marriage is about two people who love and respect one another, without trust their is no true bond in marriage. And this does not mean you turn a blind eye to what he has done. It means he needs to want trust between you and him more than anything or anyone. If not, your marriage does not have a chance. Start to make decisions first by joining a group of people who have gone through a similar situation. From there you should gain the insight on what has really happened in reasons he decided to cheat. Good luck to you!
gee, i feel sorry for you, yes God hates divorce but He allows it for continual unrepentant adultery, i mean this guy doesn't even want to be forgiven. you know my friend knew a good woman who got aids from her cheating husband, so then who would care for your children?


seriously how can you love him knowing what he's doing?


i know adultery can destroy your self esteem, but you really need to live in peace, you can be so much more happier if you forget him.


he doesn't love you, you're in love with the past.
you don't file a divorce and get out. It will only lead to an unhappy marriage and your children are better off with a happy lone parent than they are with 2 unhappy arguing parents. I know its not what you want to hear but he has moved on and you need to do the same for your sake and the sake of your children
read relationship rescue by dr phil, and, divorce busting, by michele weiner davis.





i want you to be together too. it is easy to say dump him, it is hard to actually do.





and, as long as i am typing, make sure your house, kids, and self are immaculately clean and smiling and happy, and that you sparkle from head to toes. that is what lights fires, when he sees you are fabulous without him.
He's had a mistress for TWO YEARS??? Why on earth would you WANT him to choose you? I'd have shown him the door at least 23 months ago! Honey, why should he choose when you have been letting him have both of you? You and your kids would be better off without him. What kindof example is this for your kids?
What is there to encourage...he still has his mistress. He's not going to choose because he knows both of you want him and neither of you are going any where.





He has the best of both worlds....I hope he doesn't bring home an STD or worse, boy...wouldn't that light your FIRE.
Probably showing up at their motel room wearing a mumu while holding a bloody machete.





That would send a clear signal and get you the direction you sorely lack to proceed with the rest of your life.
You can't, it's his choice. And if he's been cheating on you with the same women for 2 years it sounds like he's already made his choice.
You make the decision for him... DUMP HIS WORTHLESS @$$!
Marriage counseling, only way.
Seek professional counseling..the man betrayed you..
I feel so sorry for you. Good luck.
Why would he make any changes? He has both of you. He can do what he wants, and so it seems, he does.
wow !!!! are you that insecure ???? I would kick him out faster than an atomic bomb
...and you want a man who betrays you? WOW. Talk about self esteem!
why would you want to be with some one if your not there first and only choice
This not a politically correct answer, Also dont listen to these people's stupid advice about kicking him out etc !! I've been married for 23 years and I am familiar with your situation (from a guys point of view) .





Guys that stray usually do so because they are not getting what they need at home !!! Perhaps you should consider how you can get him to focus on you.





1) Cook (men love good food)


2) clean ( this pc 50/50 bs and womens lib is just nonsense)


3) have lots of hot sex... not the boring stuff (vanilla) nah, try a bit of adventure: different positions, squirting technics etc


4) listen a bit to what he says and engage in discussion.


5) Dont tell him he's imature or stupid.


6) Tell him that you care


7) For goodness sake DONT nag - it really stuffs things up.


8) And remember the MAN is the king of the house.


In return. He will worship you, treat you like a queen, listen to you and above all he wont have the desire to hunting for other women.





All the guys out there will definately agree... RIGHT GUYS ????





LADIES: dont fight us ( we love you) ... the best thing u can do is make ur man feel like a MAN......nothing else works !~! !